God grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr
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I was mulling over a complicated issue today... What do you do when you (and a fellow student) witness an older student patronising a new student (it was bordering on bullying in a covert way) in the kitchen for more than two hours? This situation is complicated because the "bully" and the "victim" spoke a language other than English, which my fellow student and I happen to understand, but none of the chefs do.
If the "bully" had spoken to me in that manner and with that tone of voice, I would have told him where to go. Unfortunately, this new student was too meek (or too scared) to even say anything - he was silent the whole time.
To me, it is difficult to know where to draw the line. Especially in a kitchen. You see, sometimes even a chef gets so frustrated that he yells at students who keep messing things up. Personally, I don't think it is acceptable to yell at someone else, but it happens (and it blows over).
So, is it OK then for a senior student (who is known to annoy many people with his opinionated and egocentric views about things) to express his annoyance by talking down to a new student he was supposed to mentor? Or do we stop this behavior before it goes any further (and escalates into a form of workplace bullying)?
I kept thinking to myself: Is it necessary for a senior male student to establish his authority over a junior male student (especially one who is emotionally vulnerable) by behaving this way? Am I just over-reacting?
In my previous career, I knew where to draw the line because I was in the position to decide what was acceptable in my classroom. But now I am just a senior student in an educational institution in a foreign country... Suddenly, things have become far more complicated.
I just don't have any answers for this. But I have considered my options. Rest assured I will keep an eye on things. If I witness it again, the "bully" will not get away with it.
